Played by Tyger Drew Honey

Dylan is a sixteen year old virgin, whose moral code would make Machiavelli feel a bit uneasy. When Dylan surveys the members of his family, he doesn't see people - he sees opportunities to get money, lifts and Chinese takeaway. Dylan couldn’t care less about his sister’s big news but for the fact that disharmony in the family presents new bribing opportunities for him. The one hope for Dylan's black soul is his undying love for Lorna's best friend's daughter, Zoe.